16% an MBA

The first term at IIM Bangalore passed by before I even realized it did. More than anything, it was a humbling experience, and academically speaking, the term disaster, though a bit extreme, kind of sums it up. The discomfort with which it started never really subsided, and before there was time to realize the impact, the term was already over, and I was heading out to Bombay while my comrades were still struggling with their exams.

While being back in an academic setting felt good, something in the general atmosphere did not. I was never at home, and always had to make an extra attempt to keep up with everyone else. Quizzes and exams occurred with an unforgiving frequency, and my confidence ebbed with every single one of them. I badly wanted to prove that I was good, and not an aberration of a not-quite-perfect admission criterion. And whenever I tried too hard, which was most of the times, I slipped. My lack of success was not because I couldn’t, but because I didn’t, and I wanted to right that every second time I got a chance. Success had once again become a steroid that I dearly needed.

ABS shortlist happened, and it felt Godsend, not because I desperately wanted it, but because I needed a shot of assurance that I had lost somewhere in the mad race. I couldn’t care less from where it came. God knows how badly I wanted that.

There is a week of vacations, a week of home, a week worth of recharge now, before I bring myself back to the grind. Further duels and rat races ensue, but those can be pushed off to October and beyond. If one blink can mark the passage from July to September, surely a more grueling and demanding next two months can do better. One term is over, and 1/6^th of MBA-ness as been unofficially accrued to me.

I wish I had written this blog just after the end of the term, and not after ABS. Most of what I was feeling on the evening of 20^th has ebbed away. Hopefully it should signal a better start for the next term, just as it signaled an all’s-well-that-ends-well for the first term.