'Yan' weddings and 'yam' farewells

THAT, rather incongruously, sums up my stint at Bollaram, and in a larger context, of ITC too. Surprising, since one expects to remember a lot more moments in one’s first ever job, and that too which stretched for two long years, and all that I can recall are the farewells that I attended, and the weddings I contributed for.

THAT, again, speaks of the kind of experiences I’ve had. Nothing great to boast of. Nothing worth recalling after 20 years, except an almost guiltily romantic ‘yeah, that was my first job, with ITC.’

Or maybe the non-veg jokes at Bhadra page 3 parties, by the seniormost of managers, not for the content, but for the style of delivery. That, I have to give it to them.

And of course, the Bollaram chapter --

‘The person is on leave today.’
‘But I need it very urgently!’
‘Sorry, only he is authorised to do it.’
‘Ummm… okay, we can do this tomorrow, but uske baad will be very difficult for me…’ (thinking out aloud)
‘He’s on leave till Monday’ (SNAP!)

‘And on account of Product Development trials, we’ve incurred *** downtime’ (questioning eyes at me, as if searching for signs of the sadistic pleasures I derived out of that)

‘Abey tu tonygraf ka maal le, ya steffigraf le, mere peechhe mat pad!’ (an apparently frustrated FH incharge after I had poked him for the second time for a couple of 100 paper sheets)

‘Well, I need my laptop adaptor, without which I cannot work!!’
(Very calm and composed) ‘There is a simple process for that – first the material code has to be created, and then the user has to raise a procurement indent, which has to be approved, and a justification has to be provided because there is no negotiation for the single party quotation that we’ve got, and then…..’ (I stomp off)

‘I am still waiting for the day when you will do something that I ask you, without me reminding you again and again.’
(Doesn’t even look at me)

Sunday morning, 7 am, after I have spent three sleepless nights with my ragged army of two electrical engineers (both younger than even me) to commission a diesel generator so that production doesn’t suffer due to power cuts.

Tring…tring..
‘Uh-mmm-zzzzz-mmmm.’
‘Saar, this is ****, from Bollaram substation saar. From today onwards we will not be cutting your power.’
‘Uh-mmmmmmmm? Grrrr…zzzzzz’

‘I am not coming today…’ (either an sms in the morning, or a reply when I myself call up and ask for his co-ordinates)

‘We are a poor Division. We never had money.’
‘Uh-huh.’

‘Jab apan training pe jaate hain, woh ITD waale saale aise dekhte hain jaise hum low caste waale hain.’
‘Uh-huh.’

‘Anshuman, zara apna phone dijiyega…’ (short of actually charging the people, for all practical purposes, my cellphone IS the STD booth of Bollaram)

‘I don’t need iitians to run this company.’
(iitians didn’t exactly beg to be put here)

‘Saar, you need yapproval of ***** saar for this (any damned thing goes here).’

‘So, do you plan to be back after your MBA?’
(Silence)
…………
(Much later) SIGH!